Sometimes we find ourselves in the midst of a disagreement that quickly degrades into an argument, or even a fight. How does this happen? Why is it that we so often find ourselves in these situations where we feel like our words are falling on deaf ears, where all we say seems to worsen the situation? Continue reading
Attachment patterns have been researched extensively in recent years. I feel that there are some useful grains of truth in these studies, as well as the associated theories. I am slowly developing my own concept of attachment patterns, but in this post I seek to outline some of my foundations.
Imagine a world where everyone walks around with their eyes closed. Infants use their eyes, and as they grow older, they begin to ask questions about what they see; unfortunately, as the adults all have their eyes closed, they are unable to answer their children’s inquiries. Some simply respond with things like “I don’t understand your question,” others make up answers based on what they do know, and some accuse the children of hallucinating or making things up (with varying degrees of amusement, condescension, and reprimand).
I spent a long time arguing with myself about whether I should forcibly end friendships with people I’ve previously dated. Several useful realizations came out of that process.