I’ve spent quite some time now struggling with how to let go of circumstances beyond my control. One thing has helped me to focus more on the present and obsess a little less about what might be in my future.
I tend to overthink most situations, and in so doing, I often come up with numerous potential futures. Sometimes, a large number of them are, at the least, disconcerting to me. This happens most when I have no control over the outcomes, and I believe it’s a perversion of self-preservation; that is, if I can “prepare” for the worst-case scenarios, somehow I believe I can control them. Which, of course, is not true.
So this tends to backfire for me, as I have a list of possible futures that frighten or worry me which I have no real capacity to avoid. But all is not lost. I have learned the importance of facing my fear, and now I’m taking it a step further: loving acceptance. If it scares me, I lovingly accept that it is either what is best for everyone (albeit in a way I don’t necessarily understand) or that it is an opportunity for growth, or both. Becoming better people, learning more about ourselves, is often scary, and we often avoid it, making it something that we get forced into sometimes.
So if you’re in a situation that’s mainly out of your control, and you’re looking at all the possible disasters that could arise, I encourage you to try playing out each of those situations with love in your heart and acceptance of how it plays out. If you stick with it long enough, you’ll get past the part that scares you and find that things settle down, get better, or go back to “normal”. Nothing is permanent; this too shall pass. For better or worse, life continues to flow, and fighting that flow just leaves you exhausted. You’ll still end up wherever you’re going, and maybe it’ll just take you a little longer to get there.