I know that pretty much everyone who’s ever started a blog has probably started with talking about the fact that they’re starting a blog — why they’re doing it, how it feels, all that stuff.
That’s exactly what I’m going to do.
I think the main reason we start this way is because the question, “What are you going to say to the world for the first time?” is such an overwhelming one. I contemplated just diving straight into other content, but then I thought about how many other people are going through exactly what I am right now, wanting to be unique but also not wanting to stand out so much as to be ridiculed. That reminded me that this whole process takes courage; it’s terrifying to put your ideas out into the world for everyone to see.
Courage means being afraid and doing it anyway.
So even though this post is painfully formulaic for the reader, it’s cathartic for me. I may not be doing something especially creative with this first post of mine, but it most certainly is unique in that no one else will write the exact words as I’m choosing. Besides, I think this helps me fight the battle against my inner hipster that tries so hard to be different, as though there’s something intrinsically wrong with being the same as other people. I’m afraid that there’s nothing remarkable about me.
As you may have noticed in the tone of this post so far, I am equally afraid that there is something remarkable about me — something worth mocking, something that will be ridiculed. I’ve spent a great many years cultivating this comfort zone, so why should I leave it? The world outside this comfy bubble is full of barbs and venom. Why would I willingly subject myself to that? Well, loneliness is a good motivator, as is existential crisis. I think those two are relatives; at least for me, my existential crises have always come when loneliness is visiting for undue lengths of time. My life seems to have little purpose if my experiences are so isolated, so the risk of ridicule is worthwhile when considering that I might have some positive impact as well.
So there are two diametrically opposed fears here: the fear of fitting in too much, and the fear of standing out too much. I’m often amused by the irony of trying to stand out while trying to fit in, and that’s something I’ll get into in more detail in another post. So in the name of courage, I’m just finishing my stereotypical, formulaic first post, and accept whatever comes with this choice.